I know that I have a weird schizophrenic attitude towards God! On the one hand, there is that logical (?) assertion, in me, that there is something, some eternal, uncreated principle from which everything flows. The romantic in me wants IT to be sentient. I don’t necessarily want to bend IT to my will through prayer or sacrifice, but IT is such a handy thing to blame when things get fucked up. My burden of responsibility is thus so much lighter.
But just because I want IT, doesn’t make IT so, and I can not believe IT as so, without hard evidence.