The Omen?

The Omen?

Follow your inner moonlight; don’t hide the madness. Allen Ginsberg.

Last year ended on a slightly disturbing note. There was a posting on Facebook that included a picture of Bill Frawley and Vivian Vance, in their roles as Fred and Ethel Mertz, that had them posing in a loving embrace. The comment attached mentioned that the two actors hated each other, despite what the picture showed. I attached a comment saying that it was called ACTING. Not too long after posting the comment, I got two comments back, from the original poster. The first said they were DEALING, not ACTING; the second asked me who [the hell, was the tone] I was, and why was I replying on his site when he didn’t know who I was.

I answered back that he was listed on my friends list as a friend, something that could not have happened without his compliance, and reminded him that on another site we both participated in, he liked almost every posting I made on that site. I guessed that it was obvious that liking was by rote and he never read anything before approving it. I apologized for any unrealized offense I’d made in my first comment on his site and ended with “I will forgive your deliberate rudeness, this time.” I deliberately checked my friends list upn waking, this morning; he was no longer there. I’m not sure if this incident was is a sign-off on the old year, or an omen for the new.

What surprised me was how attacked I felt, and how easily I was wounded. Then I remembered a Facebook test I’d recently taken: Based on the images that scared and horrified you in this quiz, you’re subconsciously terrified of rejection! You’re a warm heart-ed, sensitive and loving person that can’t imagine anything worse than being rejected! You have so much love to give and having someone just cruelly turn it down, is the scariest thing you can even imagine! Don’t fret, being rejected once or twice doesn’t mean a thing. You deserve nothing but the best, and only people who can see that are worth your time! Ninety-nine point nine of the Facebook tests are nonsense; this result hit very close to home. My life, beginning from the moment I came out of my mother’s womb, is a textbook history of fighting against rejection, actual or supposed. It will be a battle until I can battle no more. Some rounds of battle I win, some I lose, but the inner moonlight remains.


About elrondsilvermaul

I never know what to say about myself. I let what I write try to speak as to who I am. I can only add, here, that I am 72, live in a nursing home, am twenty years a cancer survivor, and identify as a gay male. I intend to use this blog as storage for poems? written over the long years (and still being written). This does not preclude other uses.
This entry was posted in Over The Fence, Personal and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to The Omen?

  1. nowandzenn says:

    I understand what you are saying. Laureen fought the same battle her whole life. Know that those who truly know you, consider you irreplaceable my dear friend. ~ John

    Liked by 1 person

  2. PennyD says:

    You don’t need people like that trolling you. Good that he is no longer on your friends list. Some people just seem to expect themselves to be all knowledgeable. Ethel and Lucy didn’t like each other either, that’s called acting, when they come off as great friends on the screen. Happens all the time in productions.

    His loss if he didn’t read your stuff.

    I always feel a little more intelligent after reading your posts. I wish I had your memory and knowledge. I lost a couple of friends and acquaintances in 2015 and I don’t want to loose anymore. I have distanced myself from a couple of people I know, because I don’t need their darkness. My others I like to keep close. You are one of those close friends. Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

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