Jan. 16, 2016- Pruning

Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them,
and pretty soon you have a dozen.
                                                                      John Steinbeck.
That you received this means that you are on a special list, that has grown over the years, of people I felt closest too, on these facebook pages, whose discretion I trusted, and with whom I felt I could share some of the more personal revelations. For my own housekeeping purposes, I named that list “close friends.” Looking over the list the other day, it occured to me that, although you have all, at one point or another, agreed to be my facebook friend, none of you agreed to be on the special list, and probably don’t realize you were.

Over the years, I haven’t used the close friends list, too often. As I intend to use my blog, daily, and often in a more revelatory way, this year, access to these entries, through Facebook, is going to be limited to my close friends group.

I am supposing that some, maybe all, of you on my list, may not wish to know more about me, or my interests, than my general entries provide. I have already begun pruning the list, removing those names from the list that have not responded to any posting of mine for a year or more. If any of you still on this list, as evidenced by receipt of this posting, would also prefer not participating in this project, please reply, within the week, asking to have your name removed from the list. You will remain on my general friends list, unless you unfriend me, or ask me to unfriend you.

Please do not think you will hurt my feelings, or otherwise offend me, if you want to be off the list. I do not mean this as an ego thing, but I do recognize that I am, quite often, an acquired taste, being too too, too often (hows that for a phrase?). Some prefer me in small doses.

Oddly, I feel weird writing this. It sounds too much like those embarrassing posts where people are asking “am I pretty?”, or I’m so lonesome, hug me posts. I always think those post both sad and a little creepy. Thinking about it though, in some ways, most post, by most people, are just more subtle about the need for ego-stroking.

When I was a child, there was always someone to whom I had to report. They didn’t have to be any more involved than being willing to be someone that was there, to be an occasional voice that said “No!”, or “You’re full of shit, you’d better rethink that.” Someone who could, and would, when necessary, warn me of dangers of which I wasn’t aware. I don’t know what direction this project is going to take, I only know I need to take it. Along the way, I want a few people to lean on, be responsible to. I’m not expecting that there will be an overwhelming response to everything I write. I just want the possibility of someone guiding me when I need to be guided, challenging me when I need to be challanged. It makes it easier to write, when there is a sense of a target.

I am never going to promise to make sense, though I will promise to try. Think of this entry as one of those tries.

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About elrondsilvermaul

I never know what to say about myself. I let what I write try to speak as to who I am. I can only add, here, that I am 72, live in a nursing home, am twenty years a cancer survivor, and identify as a gay male. I intend to use this blog as storage for poems? written over the long years (and still being written). This does not preclude other uses.
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4 Responses to Jan. 16, 2016- Pruning

  1. Nancy crissinger says:

    How could I want to not be on ‘the’ list? How long have we known one another, thanks to Yahoo groups, then Facebook? You’re part of my life, particularly what I consider my ‘artistic intellectual’ group of friends. You – and John & Walks & everyone – keep my brain alive, you let me ramble & still keep me around. I love you – and them. And whatever I can do for/with you? I’m in. ‘k?

    Like

  2. PennyD says:

    Well, I am not embarrassed to say that I am not on Facebook. Have no intention on being a Facebook member. It is one of my ‘I’m not getting involved in that mess’ promises. Hey, I just graduated to Twitter, and I still don’t get it. Every time I think about joining Facebook someone I know whines about the problems they’ve had with it. So I’m staying away. One of my stupid conscious ‘Don’t go there’s’. Lists are good. I like lists. I always loose them but writing them is good.

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  3. Penny, you are, and always have been in that circle of people I never want to lose. Your access to this site will not be affected. I’d be stupid to lose you. As for Facebook, I’ve been automatically posting on it for a year. I’m just wanting to limit face book access because it feels like I’m forcing myself on people who don’t want to be part of whatever the hell I am. I know this is a clumsy explanation.

    Like

  4. Linda says:

    I hope to not be pruned even though I am not good at responding very often. I do read my facebook posts daily and you are on my special friends list so that your posts always make it to my wall. Time and technology marches on whether we are ready for it or not. I admire your tenacity to keep moving forward.

    Like

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